Discovery
by deathclawdelight
Summary: Following his defeat to Rey, Kylo Ren is on a quest to truly fulfill his destiny as the triumphant Knight of Ren and an accomplished Sith Lord. As he faces true love, duels, explosions, deaths, hair-raising adventures & extensive training & reconditioning, Ren ultimately reveals a personal discovery on the path to the dark side that will craft him into true evil.
1. First Steps

The snow brushed against his cheeks, the trees were silent. Nothing quite felt more peaceful than the sounds of his own footsteps in his worn-out boots that were the only ones that pressed the white blankets of the forest. His mind felt at ease with every inhale, overcoming each mind-bending obstacle at the following exhale. _I can do this_ ; his mind repeated as he wandered past the towering fir trees.

Further through the forest he went, with no souls to hear of, yet many different sights appeared as he walked. _An opening I've never seen before_. _A crack in a tree I've not yet noticed. A new abrasion in the ground._ The Knight of Ren was not alone.

As he saw more things he hadn't seen before he began to get jittery. He knew everything about this forest, he spent his time here mastering the darkness and blocking out the light from every element of his being in the only way he knew how – alone. More sights were emerging and then those indifferences became problems. The trees began to slam down around him; the openings in the ground grew larger, the abrasions became craters. He ran with his cloak in tow clenching his saber with every outbreath, dodging tumbling trees and flying over cracks in the surface. _This world will crumble_ , he thought, until he then heard the whisper of another saber in the field. Battle.

Running and dodging and jumping high and low to save himself the Knight tried to vanish into the darkness but the sounds of the swaying lightsaber came closer and closer and then silence returned. The Knight paused. He still clasped his saber with his clammy hands, the cross guard appearing as a sentiment that it was still safe; with a sigh of relief he let his hand go free and wrapped his cloak around his shoulder to keep warm. _Why didn't the world crumble?_

He liked to think the dark side was represented in the trees and the snow represented the light side that he so desired to leave. His metaphorical conflict was found as his feet touched the snow with very swift strokes – although he wanted to be free of his pain he moved elegantly within the beauty of the forest. His mind was like a prism of hope focused on one goal: moving forward. The dark side had penetrated his mind for many years, but he felt he had much to learn.

Another foot into the snow, and another, he felt safe again until the ground below enveloped him. His screams couldn't be heard as he fell through the void with thousands of voices screaming at him.

" _Ben!"_

" _You're a monster!"_

" _You'll never be as strong as Darth Vader!"_

His fate was sealed and with his last screech for help he heard the trees and the world fall apart around him and the faint whispers of the mystery saber.

" _You'll never be as strong,"_ the voice repeated and repeated and repeated until the trees collapsed inwards and broke apart and fell into the never ending void and everything went black.

* * *

A jolt back to life. Kylo Ren lay in his bed. The sounds of the heartbeat monitor were all he could hear. No one was in the room.

"The same dream again," he muttered to himself, partially embracing his newly formed scar etched across his left cheek. Now he could only feel pain inside himself.

Ren had been bedbound for weeks. The only people that had supposedly come to see him were Hux, Phasma and other leaders he never caught the name of, with no mention of Snoke since discovering someone else has the power of the force. His wounds had healed just enough to render him free to leave weeks ago but he hadn't left in that time. His motivation was miniscule, but he didn't want to sleep again.

"So you left your cot Ren," Hux muttered as he flicked through Stormtrooper charts; Ren bit his lip in frustration. "We're building the new army already. Course I had reserves of troops further from Starkiller base but we need more to replace the thousands we lost."

"Looks like neither of us are in Snoke's good books," replied Ren finally.

"Supreme Leader has been dormant since the collapse of Starkiller base." Hux looked to the floor, "the Finalizer is our only home now until we reach Geonosis." Ren looked to the galaxy with not a planet in sight.

 _Hux seems confident for someone who lost most of his men and women that would have overthrown the Resistance,_ Ren paced the halls. He was conflicted, helmetless and confused. He wanted his helmet to hide the pain his face continued to emit but couldn't even think of where to craft a new one as armour was now in short supply. The First Order had to rebuild but he didn't even know where to begin.

"Sir," Captain Phasma's distinct voice had never left, "it's good that you are well enough to leave your quarters."

"Maybe leaving the room was all I needed to do," he replied with instant regret. _What am I doing? I've never spoken to her apart from when giving orders, why am I showing emotion?_ "I require a new helmet."

"It will be done sir," she said almost robotically as she stomped away; she too required an upgrade on her chrome suit. Kylo Ren returned to his quarters with a new found hope.

* * *

There he lay once more, staring at the molten remains of Vader's helmet, wondering how long it will take to reach Geonosis, twiddling this thumbs and taking the time to care for himself. He showered, finally let go of his ragged robes that Rey had singed too much of, and replaced them with simple black garb – no leather gloves, no robes, no shroud. His hair had grown and he was in desperate need of a shave so he took to cleaning himself up, being ever so precise with every movement his razor made. They didn't have droids or tools to help them anymore, so the traditional razor had to do. As unkempt as it was Ren didn't want to touch his hair so he left it be; it was now reaching his shoulders. Then he looked out to the empty galaxy again knowing that a planet wouldn't reach his eyes for several days; he looked to the mask again.

"I don't feel the pull to the light anymore," Ren whispered to Vader, "but I have never felt such pain like this. Is it right to feel like a failure?" Ren knew no answer would come, his luck ran out when he turned to the dark side.

"Yes," a voice in Ren's head spoke. "It is okay to feel this pain, but you will overcome it as your path to the dark side continues." Ren sprung out of his bed wielding an invisible lightsaber poised ready to strike with nothing to attack, his heartbeat racing. _Did my grandfather just speak to me?_ Shaken and lowering his guard he stormed out of his quarters and slamming it shut with the force as he left eager to seek Hux for a second time, who was still at the Bridge of the Finalizer.

* * *

"How long until we reach Geonosis? Why are we not doing a hyper jump?"

"Can't you see we're trying to survive here?"

"Vader spoke to me; we need to speak to Snoke immediately."

"I'm sure Snoke would love to hear your little fairytale about how Vader saved your life-"

"I want to be the Sith Lord I was born to be!" Ren snapped as his force powers took centre stage with a crush of a nearby chair. Hux looked longingly at Ren but not in the way that was deemed positive; his long stares at Ren were a constant reminder of before the near collapse of The First Order.

"Do we know if you're even worthy of such a test? Is Kylo Ren the savior we so need? Or do I need to find someone that can truly rule The First Order?" From that moment a hologram appeared on the cruiser's window behind them – Snoke.

"General," he said simply as Hux lowered his guard. Ren was silent and poised. "Darth Vader never perfected his talents in days, weeks, months, and look at him now. He is long gone." Hux lowered his head as Ren moved forward towards the hologram like he had just seen the beacon of hope that he so desperately needed. Ren suddenly picked up hope, he knew Snoke would come to his aid eventually and that he hadn't given up on the Knights of Ren but he didn't know when it would happen. Ren finally felt like he could truly be the one true lord of the Sith with Snoke by his side: _Yes, guide me to the darkness, guide me to the path I was born to follow, guide me._

"The next part of your training, Kylo Ren, is about to begin."


	2. A Thousand Voices

"I never expected to receive this," Ren inspected his new helmet munching on his sandwich and making an intricate pile of sandwich crusts on the table with sighs around him in unison. It looked exactly the same as the previous rendition but with no dents or scratches to be seen and a longer rear plate and elevation, reminiscent of Darth Vader's classic helmet. Also handed to Ren was a new shroud to wear over his helmet, still in black with new material, and a small facial dressing to protect his still-healing battle scar. Then Kylo Ren was given the grand prize: two new lightsabers.

"Two?" Hux replied with a simple nod. The first one was a mirror of the one he lost on the Starkiller base, but the second one was the standard model given to followers of the dark side. Ren didn't ask why and took it as a sign to leave with his new gifts; he wolfed down the sandwich and bundled up his robes carefully balancing his two sabers and helmet on the top walking ever so slowly back to his quarters.

He didn't try any of the new garbs on, with empty eyes Ren thought about anything other than his desire to wear something other than the same clothes he'd been wearing for the past week. He hadn't shaved, or cleaned himself up for that matter, nor had he had any desire to do anything other than look to the ceiling from his bed or speak to the molten helmet. It felt like months had passed and Ren felt like he had missed a few birthdays, if he could even recollect when his birthday was, but he was certain he had lost weight again. _I need to train, but I don't even have the mental capability… let alone physically._

The day of Kylo Ren's training was never announced. Ren had to wait until the hologram revealed himself and as the days passed he was soon beginning to lose hope in his cause. Ren had wondered if they were even heading to Geonosis after all as they were not even going into hyperspace, maybe Hux was hiding more than Ren already thought. Was it a test of his patience? Ren couldn't leave his quarters without his new armour on so he hastily threw it on altogether not even looking in the mirror to check that half of his robe was tucked too much under his belt, then he put on his new dressing, looked at the helmet, took a deep breath and went under.

" _These are your first steps,"_ the voices murmured. The pain worsened as he pulled it over his head ever so slowly and as he stopped about a quarter of the way he took the biggest of breaths and exhaled, grasped tightly to the edges, and shoved the rest of the helmet on. Ren's face enflamed into an inferno as the helmet slipped further over his head with the sound of a thousand screams that wept from his voice – it was secure.

" _Go, escape."_

"Where?!" Ren threw out his new saber and etched a hole in the wall with more and more voices throwing instructions at him. He had to leave, but where? He was not destined to stay on the Finalizer it seemed.

" _Go, leave this place. Go, escape."_ Ren was scared to shake his head in case blood wept from his dressing even more but he couldn't help it and with a close of his lightsaber he walked around in circles cradling his head with anguish, confliction, confusion. Without thinking about the pain he waded towards the Bridge when those thousands of screams became thousands of voices in Ren's mind.

" _Come home!"_

" _You've left your cot…"_

" _Are you worthy?"_

" _Go, escape."_

 _Run._

The floor below him rumbled.

* * *

The first sight of Stormtroopers entered Ren's view followed by Phasma who were all in too much of a panic to notice Ren and acknowledge his woes, so he dashed to the Bridge to find a Hux hugging his knees at the control panel.

"We're going to lose all of our troops," Hux repeated over and over as Ren took over the controls, flipping every switch and dial to assess the situation. _Resistance?_ It was an engine unit explosion that could be easily maintained: "I've transferred power to the second engine unit; troops are already down there," no reply, "another rouge trooper?" Ren shook his head as he stomped away from a shaken Hux, _he reminds me of what I once was._

Heading down to the engineering bay of the Finalizer, Ren began to practice using the force. First it was small things like discarded objects on the floor (that ought to have been cleaned up), but then it turned into doors that weren't immediately open, Stormtroopers that became an obstacle, elevators that hadn't reached his floor yet. Soon he reached the engineering bay where he witnessed a standoff between several troopers and the one that turned rouge which fell silent as soon as Ren opened his lightsaber. Then, he left no hesitation when he sliced them all in two.

Ren flung himself into the first escape pod he seen and punched the button that launched him into orbit sailing down into nothingness. _They would have forgiven me;_ his thoughts betrayed him for the last time, as he tried to find a planet with life forms.

 _I am so conflicted, my mind is playing tricks on me, how can I come back from this? I've gone rouge when I've sworn myself to The First Order. Will they come for me? How can I be saved? I need freedom from this pain, freedom to prove myself._

The pod picked up speed with flames surrounding it as Ren hoped a planet would appear and then it did: a green sphere in the distance called to him as the pod sealed his fate and he would live to tell the tale, or so he thought. Closer to the surface he reached and then he fell through clouds and clouds and clouds and then the slam of water rendered Ren to nearly lose consciousness. He whipped his saber into action and broke free of his pod, climbed out and assessed the situation with dizzy spells taking over, saber closed and he hit the water – darkness.

* * *

" _Do you remember your first experience with the force, Ben?"_ Luke asked him as he handed over a makeshift staff constructed of iron and pieces of metal found around the grounds. _"An old friend of mine, who became my Master, showed me how powerful the force can be, lifting the entirety of a ship just like that one,"_ he pointed to the next X-Wing he could find after going around in circles a few times, Ben giggling, _"you can have that power too."_ Ben looked down at his iron staff and firmly held it for his fifth practice of the day with the aim being to perfect the one move he hadn't managed to nail for the past few days – the moves the hone Form IV of Jedi training. Although Luke had brought together a mix of several forms, as Jedi techniques are usually learnt, Ben's main interest was in Form VII and Form II and decided to master them further than Luke's own mentoring with diminutive success.

Ben believed the Jedi Order was a myth like many young souls did until his father, mother and uncle introduced it him at the prime age of six. He learnt about his grandfather, Darth Vader, who became the most prestigious Sith Lord that had ever lived, and Obi Wan Kenobi, Luke's first teacher, but Ben yearned for the red rather than the green or blue. He swung his iron staff around in swift motions, jumping through trees and attempting vaults, tosses, anything that a Jedi would do. He would even sit in his tent or in a secluded place on the Falcon and just raise his hand hoping electricity would burst out of it. _How does one be so powerful?_

Luke rounded everyone up, Han, Leia, the droids, everyone, in a large circle and sat on either the ground or the boulders they used for force practice one day. _"You've reached this far. Normally we would call you Padawans, but I don't want to say I am your Master. You brought yourself to this point all by yourself, and so you really are the Master of your efforts. I am proud to have you all here with me."_ Ben clenched his fist as the ground opened again.

" _You'll never be as strong as Darth Vader."_

" _Ben?"_ It was hammering with rain; he wielded his saber, totting up the dead bodies.

" _You're no son of mine."_

" _These are your first steps."_

* * *

"Hey," the sun shone through his eyes, his mask was gone. The blurriness focused on an unknown figure as he brought himself upright contemplating his waterlogged robes, as his sight sharpened he realised he was on the shore. He looked back to the figure, there knelt a person with flowing red hair with tips resembling lapis lazuli to truly reflect their eye colour which had bright ruby tinges surrounding their pupils. Their freckles dotted every corner of their skin with no imperfections to be found except for the bedraggled outfit they wore and a worn-down lightsaber that caught Ren's eye; he pushed away. Fumbling to gather himself he patted himself down to find nothing on his person, he looked to the figure.

"My things…" he uttered as they showed him the pile of his belongings drying out on the pebbles, he then looked to their saber again. "Jedi?" No answer and they looked at him with a partial smirk; he didn't know what that meant. Not the one to wait he flexed his arm and brought the saber to his palm with a catapult of the figure starting a scrap on the shore, they were screaming at each other as one couldn't get a hold of the other until he reached the switch and a beam of red was produced from the hilt. They stopped, both out of breath. Kylo Ren smiled for the first time in a long time.


	3. Solo

The planet they were on was still unidentifiable: the world was endless forest, tall fir trees that had no clear ending, surrounding an enormous reservoir reaching to a mountainous range in the distance. Like Starkiller Base in appearance, minus a drop of snow and it's violent demeanor, the unknown planet became merely dubbed SB2 in Ren's mind for an easy reference; he liked things to be easy to remember. Ren was back to the simple outfit he wore on the Finalizer with his robes still drying on the pebbles; as the moon began to rise higher and the night grew darker him and his new found rescuer needed to find and warmth with all eyes pointing to the forest.

They picked up their things, both sharing similar loads, and headed into the forest together using only their eyes for light. Ren focused his force powers in case of attack regardless of what might in the forest, all or nothing in the way of threat, but he was visibly shaking and handling it well until the pathway became too dark to see directly ahead. He fell forward.

"Whoa, let's just stop here." They took out their saber and lit up the night, etching a circle into the ground and placing theirs and Ren's baggage down, fumbling around trying to grab wood from wherever they could and throwing it in a pile, setting it alight with the corner of their saber. The crackling of the wood brought Ren to a sitting position and stuck his hands out to grab as much of the heat as he could and throwing on his still soggy robes in an attempt to keep warm.

"You need to take it all off," they gestured as they threw him a coat and trousers from their bag, "I'm going to get more firewood so you don't cringe."

"Wait... where did you get these?" Ren snapped as he flummoxed trying to reach them, failing to catch the clothes directly.

"You find a lot of lost souls here," they replied as they walked away, leaving Ren in solitude.

No thoughts were produced as he slipped off his sodden clothes and exchanged them for the dry, crisp, warm clothes; he wouldn't take off his vest despite the added warmth it gave him, but he wanted to maintain his modesty. The robes were disregarded so much that Ren wanted to burn them in the fire, but he refrained.

"Names?" They returned with too much wood. "I'm Kay."

"Girl?" She nodded. "I'm..." _Do I go with my real name or my old name, or a new name altogether?_ "Solo, call me Solo."

"Solo?" Giggling, she held his hand for the first time to investigate, "you've taken a lot of damage, Solo." He clasped his scar again. "What happened to you? What's the mask for?"

Solo looked down to the fire with great interest, "I was lost, looking for somewhere to run to, then I found here." Kay shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

"Looks like we both have secrets," he laid out his sabers on the ground and pulled hers out to sit next to them. Kay looked to him with a face like she wanted to beg, "I'm no Jedi." He opened his two sabers, the first being the standard model and then he opened the second one, with the cross guard giving Kay a startle, both glowing red.

"I'm no Jedi," he copied. Her eyes widened.

"Looks like we both have secrets," she copied back with a giggle. Solo smiled back and closed the sabers and added them to his bag again.

"You know the force right?" Solo asked, raising his hand to enter her mind.

Her mind enveloped him as he delved into her childhood, seeing her run down streets in a crowded city with her brother, twisting and turning down corners and alleyways to reach the front of a crowd. Kay was twitching and clenching her fists whilst he pursued further, until she slammed back, forcing him out. Solo already knew.

"You do know," he smiled as she wrapped her clothes over tighter.

"Goodnight, Solo," she replied before making a quick escape, Solo didn't follow. He sighed and pushed his hair back over his ears wearing an almost chilling grin: _I must delve further._

* * *

There he lay staring at the endless trees that shrouded the darkness among him with a faint wind making him turn from time to time. Even the gentlest of breezes startled him as he began to assume that anything or anyone would come through the pines and attack; his powers made him feel on full alert with a reacting jolt if he felt any sense of danger, but it never amounted to anything. _Just stay calm._

Eventually he fell into slumber expecting to have another nightmare, but instead he was frolicking through wheat fields threading his fingers through the shoots gazing to the sun as he did so, even feeling the squinting his eyes did when he looked for too long. He looked back to see his father and the Wookiee chasing by and he followed, seeing them dance through gaps and then reaching the Falcon in the distance. Ren stopped and looked back: " _Come on Ben!"_ He never saw his mother.

 _"I want you back,"_ he heard faint whispers of as he carried on going towards the Falcon, but then he stopped again. Clenching his fists the rain began to pour and his saber was in his hand tightly grasping the hilt with its red embers glowing. Han and Chewie were gone. Ren flinched, he was back in the wheat fields. He ran, zooming past Han and Chewie and pulling himself towards the Falcon when it shut before he could even set foot; the rain returned. Surrounded by corpses melting into the mud as rain continued to hammer Ren stood with Leia and Han cradling each other in fear: _"I want you back."_

* * *

Daylight. The ashes from the fire had flown onto Solo's face and stained most of his clothes, but he didn't care. As he shook himself down he found Kay loading up her gear, "where are you going?"

"To the nearest town. We can figure out transport or something so you can find out where you need to go-" Solo slammed his saber out.

"I'm not going anywhere." Kay was startled, frozen but also shaking afraid to make a single movement.

"Please don't kill me," she began to cry, so did Solo as he went to his knees. "Let me in and I will let you in."

Solo wept, "I don't even know you. I don't even know myself." She raised her hand just like Solo did for her: "no one has given you attention for a long time... have they?" Tears continued to roll, then he seen figures in the distance.

There were five of them, fully equipped with a vast array of weapons and all of them possessing more than one to keep them prepared. As both of them opened their sabers they opened fire, with laser beams deflected and dodged through the fir trees that shook. Solo went forward in full assault as his saber sliced through two of them with ease, then he went low and cut up two of the weapons firing in his direction as they continued to fire. Kay stayed back throwing them back with her force powers and deflecting attacks by waving them away. Then when one came too close for comfort she attacked, killing the third in one clean stroke. Two were left with them both fondling to reach other weapons - Kay took this as an opportunity to slice one across the throat, blood splattered across her clothes, and then a final strike to the chest as he fell. Then there was only one. Solo froze him with the force and walked towards him using his saber as interrogation, Kay looking on as she cleaned her bloody face.

"Who are you?"

Choking with nerves the man spoke, "we're just scouters." Solo inspected his mind, _nothing planned,_ Solo thought.

"Where did you come from?"

"Scaparus Port, we only came out here to look for things to salvage I swear, p-please..."

"Scaparus Port... we're on Arkanis?" He glared at Kay who nodded.

"Scaparus Port is a day's walk from here I'd guess," replied Kay. Solo then pushed his saber right through the man's chest as his cries echoed the forest, birds escaping, and slunk to the floor with only partial grace. Solo and Kay quickly grabbed everything they could from the bodies: guns, food packs, knives, even shoes since Solo was in need of a new pair, and headgear to disguise themselves. Then Solo threw out his robes and boots, minus the helmet, and set it alight with the corner of his saber before closing it up.

"We need to keep a low profile," he uttered, before pushing Kay along and following the path the attackers took. The final sight they took a look at were the jackets, emblazoned with a dirty insignia of the Rebel Alliance and Resistance, with a huge sigh from Solo, who gestured forward as they began to make haste towards the next checkpoint.


	4. The General Responds

Hux lowered his gaze as Snoke barked orders at him that he didn't necessarily want to follow right now. _I have better things to attend to than our lost Ren problem._ He thought about the stormtrooper army, the clone army, the never ending cycle of armies that could have overthrown the Republic, the Rebels, the Resistance. He nodded as if he was paying attention whilst the hologram bellowed directions and the incapability of The First Order, how he would go alone and destroy the Resistance himself, ludicrous ideas that Hux hoped never to be fabricated, but he knew going without Ren would mean the assumed new Jedi followers, FN-2187 and the new girl, would bring destruction to The First Order.

In a way Hux felt more mature now that Ren had vanished. He still remained loyal to Snoke no matter how angry he fell to be though Hux's mind was elsewhere dealing with the remnants of rouge stormtroopers and potentially failed programmes. Hux was raised to take himself as first priority no matter who controlled him, he was eager to feel that he was in his element again, but since The First Order collapse his mind was elsewhere wondering what would come next for him. His waxed red hair was pushed back as elegant as before when he took to the Bridge after meeting with Snoke, again assessing where to go next. Geonosis was eons away, deliberately, yet he felt he could jump into hyperspace at any time, he just never chose to.

"The silence is peaceful Captain and you should embrace it-"

"We could always jump into hyperspace and get started with the next phase, though, Sir, but merely a suggestion."

Phasma was right, Kylo was right, everyone was right. He pushed the lever and turned the dials.

* * *

Geonosis was a shell of its former self. The troopers unloaded and were sent into separate squads to recover, or discover, anything they could lay their hands on. Hux took in the air, breathing in the dust and dirt that had remained from well over fifty years hence, longing for somewhere to sit. Geonosis was in a bad way, but Hux remained hopeful he could rebuild the army here, and so it became a base for such operations. Phasma was in charge of the training and procedure, Hux developed the recruitment.

The last stormtrooper army, with the rise of Darth Vader, was recruited in Carida; Hux's approach was much more brutal. Training troopers from the moment they are born, taking them from their parents with a desire to train them into the troops of The First Order and testing their capabilities through thorough and extensive testing were merely the foundations of Hux's trials. The regime was heavily crafted on building hatred not only for the Resistance but for any that opposed them and The First Order, brought through with strict educational programmes, tactics tested in real-life missions, with the only focus on improving oneself. He ensured every stormtrooper was capable of slaughter with the reaction being as smiling like Kylo Ren would whenever he struck an enemy down. No remorse, no fear, no other focus. Still pondering Hux's mind was the way his methods were working with the recent pair of stormtroopers that had abandoned their posts: one dead to the hands of Kylo Ren and another with an uncertain fate following his escape with the Resistance pilot. _I wish they were both dead,_ he choked.

Geonosis was originally a droid-construction base for Count Dooku's initial phase of the army that rose to prominence during the Clone Wars, then starting as a base for Clone troopers and finally the stormtrooper army. What he knew he wouldn't find here would be much in the way of stormtrooper armour or parts, but Hux knew that he could find at least inspiration from the tattered ruins that Dooku and his predecessors left behind which became all too apparent when they walked upon the meeting rooms and control rooms, overlooking a large sand pit with 3 large poles in the center. Hux rubbed his hands together with delight, _this was the legend I learnt about so long ago_.

Hux placed his hologram device on one of the ginormous meeting tables to give it perfect projection for Snoke to appear, with which he did in haste. "We've arrived at Geonosis Supreme Leader," began Hux with a slight whimper of fear, as he ought to have been in Geonosis weeks ago.

"Without Kylo Ren this plan you're devising will never work," Snoke brushed off the first sight of confidence from Hux. He gulped in response.

"Kylo Ren can no longer be found on our scanners. We know he fell to one of the planets below us but a proposed landing area was never calculated."

"Do I have to do all the work for you, General, or are you holding back?"

"All I know is he can't be far, a parsec or two... maybe in the same system."

"Send a squad to every planet in the Arkanis sector, small scout teams, I want him found. If he is not found soon General, consider your position to be in jeopardy," and with that the hologram disappeared with a weary General looking to his hands. The heat was becoming unbearable.


	5. Never Falter

The forest was reaching its end as Solo and Kay walked towards the riverside with continuous drizzle since their hike began almost twelve hours ago. They took naps in between so they would carry on into the night and reach Scaparus Port by sunrise and as they had finally reached the riverside they were hopefully the telltale signs that they'd be at the Port in a few hours' time. They were saturated, cold and shivering, which only gave them more of an incentive to reach the Port in time for the morning departures. Solo was especially tired as he opted to carry the bulk of the weight they brought with them; Kay was showing no signs of fatigue, _clearly she's used to this_ , Solo thought as he readjusted his bag for another time.

"Do you have a home, Kay?" Solo asked afterward.

"Somewhere, I'm not sure where though," her smile at the start faded into a sigh at the end of her reply; she appeared optimistic yet drained, Solo inspected further. Her family seemed to have left long ago with a promise they return, that was a few years ago, but then Kay snapped and frowned at Solo. "We need a rule never to read each other's minds, or I'll go through yours and make you regret it." Solo brushed off her remark and probed the burning question.

"So when did you know you had force powers? Have you ever trained before?"

Kay sighed. Solo expressed his profound interest in the girl he met only a day before out of curiosity but also as a test to himself. He wanted to explore how far he could go without the looming soul of Snoke above him, or Hux generally making his skin crawl at the very sight of him, or Phasma attending to his needs by asking too many questions, or the luring sense of failure he very much loathed to recollect every time he had a moment of silence. The red lightsaber she bore took a personal interest of Solo's to a new level, as if he could recruit someone new being the most perfect scenario, or to discover where she could go from here. She began her story as they continued to walk along the river with no sign of the drizzle letting up and Solo prepared himself for the potential areas of hope in her.

"There used to be a Jedi knight around these parts for a brief time, he only merely showed his skills in shows to entertain the public and not for educating Jedi hopefuls kind of like a theatre show. He loved to entertain. He never taught me, but sometimes I was the only one watching him and I was allowed to hold his lightsaber and do some moves, I'm sure that would spark fear in most people but this Jedi was different, he felt he knew I would be okay with what I was doing. Then, after a while, he wouldn't show up there anymore. I went to find him, I could feel his voice inside of my mind but I never knew how it came to be and then I found him in the forest. He told me that his voice was there and guided me because of the force and that I should wield it, control it, feel it." She paused for a long breath, her lip quivering.

"Then he opened out his arms like he wanted to hug me, but then I seen bullet holes, he was dead in seconds and I? I was in the line of fire not receiving any gunshots. I hid behind the nearest rock, we were being attacked by Stormtroopers who raided every settlement they could find in the woods. Then I pulled the Jedi's body next to me, he had his blue lightsaber. I take it but then a very tall, scary man with a huge black cloak and a mask stopped me. It was only me and this man... he had deep breaths coming from his helmet. He crushed the lightsaber crystal, but he didn't crush me. "Don't do this to yourself, young one," he uttered through his mask and left me, walked away and followed the Stormtroopers." She halted her speech again, Solo listening on without trying to suggest he knew who the menacing man was.

"I kept the saber hilt and fixed it up the best I could. The only crystal I could find was red and here I am. I practiced the ways of the force by myself, that's why I'm not so good with using it, or my lightsaber for that matter. No masters come to this part of the galaxy any more."

 _Darth Vader must have walked these parts before._ Solo knew she would ask the same of him, so he had to craft something that would sound convincing and keep his head blocked from thoughts at the same time. _She's smart, this girl,_ he thought as he made his second attempt of revealing a past embedded with lies.

"I went to a Jedi Academy with Luke Skywalker being the teacher," he first told her. _She'll know of his legend, but it's not a secret he trained hundreds under the Academy_ ; Solo knew telling the truth about the Academy wouldn't cost him very much. "I trained there for many years until the Academy was destroyed. Then I disappeared and found myself in a place I was really devoted to. We were attacked and I escaped, found myself here."

"Your lightsabers are red, correct?" Solo nodded in response, her eyes widened; she didn't ask any further questions.

Solo saw this as either a quick getaway from the fact he was in no way a Jedi, or that she was contemplating the beauty of the Sith, but it never completely manifested in his mind. The next two hours were quiet with little to no talking with the same drizzle falling as did most days on Arkanis, with Solo thinking much about his next steps. Does he stay here, or go home?

* * *

Scaparus Port was crammed with drop ships, cargo and moving supplies, ships being filled and characters of all classes, races, shapes and sizes. Most of them were human, walking to and from the moving desk at the front with guards surrounding it. Solo or Kay didn't know what to expect to find here, but their first thought was food before deciding what to do next.

They opted for something simple: bread and a thick soup that smelled like death, but they didn't complain as it had been the first thing to touch their mouths except water and berries for well over a day. Solo had gained his appetite back finally. He looked around at the Port inspecting every nook and cranny he could find around the place to reassure himself that he was safe. _No one I need to kill_ , he thought.

Both licking their plates and bowls dry they get up and walk inside the hangar bay to find it littered with forces wearing the same insignia Solo found on a jacket nearly two days before. _How can they be here?_ He was never under the assumption that they were actually here but maybe some went sent here to keep the peace. Scaparus Port was initially a base for the Republic when they were pushing back troops from the Empire, it could be possible they were still hanging around.

"We can rest here and figure out what to do," Kay said with the biggest smile on her face with food filling her belly. Solo also smiled in response, he was still hungry though, and almost wanted to order more if he wasn't so paranoid he was being watched. "I don't want to stay around here for much longer, honestly," Solo shifted his stance and wrapped one of the many cloaks around his face; thankfully even if there were Resistance fighters here they wouldn't be able to recognise Kylo Ren. He pushed Kay out of the way of sight and felt a chill crawl up his back, "let's lay low." Kay scowled as she handed him money, enough to find a place to sleep for the night, and stormed off to the hangar reception until two of the supposed Resistance fighters followed her to the desk; _oh no_ , Ren dashed to her aid.

"I'd like to ask how much ships are or if we can work to get out of here-"

"We don't sell ships or just get anyone to work on our ships, you have to be trained. What division are you?"

"Wait. What?"

Ren knew.

 _If we leave now I won't need to kill anyone, it'll be perfect and I can live away from this godforsaken Port and take the helm as my own supreme leader. I don't need anyone to guide me._ A thousand voices came screaming at him with one voice reaching him that he had not heard for a long time, as Ren gulped and reached for Kay's hand to pull her away.

 _"Kylo Ren, I'm glad to hear your voice again,"_ the voice bellowed with Ren freezing into position, ignoring the thousands of voices in his mind and out, the sounds of ships taking flight and troops walking around him.

 _"I thought you would never come back to my thoughts,"_ Ren replied.

 _"I was always there, I just wanted to wait for the right time,"_ he began, _"Do you remember your first trial in your training? That day was beautiful for me, you were so young yet so brave. I felt you were the one that could even be my successor one day, but now I'm not so sure."_

"Get your hands off me!" He slapped back into reality to find his stance had lowered and with Kay struggling to pry free from Resistance hands. Now they were both bickering, pushing and shoving each other until Ren pulled out his lightsaber - silence.

"Kylo Ren... you're Kylo Ren!" Those were the fighter's last words before Ren impaled him with his saber, blood dripping from his eyes and Kylo Ren drawing a smile that would scare even the most evil of souls; Kay was taken aback and pushed herself into the corner as Ren struck down the other with the reflection of his saber forming redness in his eyes.

 _"Be my successor, Kylo Ren,"_ Snoke added and then Ren went into a full rampage.

He jumped and sliced and cut any living being within an inch of his vicinity. Some were slightly clever than others meaning Ren had to use force chokes; he watched as life slowly left each fighter, bringing them to their knees and begging for mercy. Screams were heard as far as the eye could see and Ren had begun to laugh loudly as he took every last person down in the Port.

"No one can stop me, I will never be seen as weak again!" He stopped briefly for a second and assessed the number of corpses laid out on the ground around him as blood was still flowing into the ground and the final chokes of each victim were slowly decreasing to reach their end. He cackled, his eyes were as wide as the open sea with that sea being one of blood, and never stopped until every last being was accounted for. "I won't be weak," he uttered finally as he closed his saber up.

Kay had covered her eyes. She was shaking violently when Ren returned to her; he held her hand gently and brought it towards his chest to feel his heartbeat - slow and methodic. Nothing was falling out of Kay's mouth, she was silent and continued to stay silent for the entire interaction: "I am Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren. I've slayed dozens just like this hangar bay before, and I even killed my father." He paused, Kay looked up to him. "I've been seeking passage to the dark side for many years, I used to feel the pull to the light but now I feel nothing. Whether you leave now or follow me, to wherever I feel is best, I won't hurt you." He wanted to end saying something threatening but he didn't have the strength to do it despite slaughtering numbers in the double digits just a few minutes before. Kay was still silent, but she never let go of his hand, and then at once began to laugh and laugh and laugh. She laughed for so long that she didn't even notice Ren bringing her up to standing as they held each other for a few brief moments.

 _"I will be back soon, Kylo Ren,"_ hissed Snoke, _"the dark side never falters."_


End file.
